Boundary setting is hard, but it beats the alternative. I’m still figuring out how to do boundaries well. Like many people, I’m pretty good at setting a boundary. But once that boundary is crossed, I get flummoxed.
I usually resent it when someone steps on my boundaries because they’re putting me in a position where I have to speak up for myself.
And that’s uncomfortable.
So I’m continually working on boundaries in my personal life, and what I’ve discovered is that there’s no reward for doing a good job.
When I manage to say no to someone (or put limits on how much I give) despite my guilty feelings about doing so, nobody gives me a medal.
I’m more likely to get a sour look than a prize for holding my boundaries.
That’s what makes boundary maintenance so difficult.
What it comes down to, though, is a hard decision. I ask myself this:
Do I want to tolerate potential conflict by defending my boundaries, or do I want to feel resentful every time I let someone cross them?
Here’s what I’ve learned about boundaries, and much of it I’m still getting the hang of…